Do not Be Married to the Approval of Others

How often do you become saddened by the failure of people to like or follow your posts or pictures in social media?

That is a trap right there.

You become a prisoner when you become engrossed with seeking approval from other people. You are letting people control your happiness. You are putting yourself at their mercy. You are not free you are a prisoner of these people. The worst part of it all is that you have imprisoned yourself.

It is normal to want to be loved and appreciated. It is alright to desire being liked but while seeking love and appreciation be careful that you do not become controlled by them. At some point, people will hate you and not care about you. They will mock you and insult you. Why should the opinions of other people steal from you your peace of mind and joy?

The first person that you should seek approval from is God (if you believe in Godly principles) and then yourself.

If something feels right for you based on your spiritual background or your conscience, you should do it if not, then do not do it even if it will anger someone. As long as you do not cross the universal boundary of harm to others, there is no need to be governed by other people’s opinion. As they say, life is too short. Hence, do not waste it by living up to the idea of what people expect you to be especially when these people are mere strangers on social media. Live up to your own standards.

Do not bend your rules at your own expense. You have to realize that you do not have to say yes to everthing for the sake of chasing approval. If they cannot take your no as no, walk. If they do not like your stand so be it. Live for you, make yourself happy and keep your head up in the process. You cannot please everybody even if you are the most awesome person in the world. You will be hated, you will be envied and some will rejoice when you fall down.

Do not sacrifice your mental well-being for people who do not know you, do not care about you or are simply being fake with you. They might seem to like you but deep inside they loathe you. They cannot wait for the day that you face troubles so that they can rejoice behind your back while shedding crocodile tears when they are with you. You cannot have the approval of everybody. That is how you become great. If you let them control you, you will lose yourself in the process. You will lose your individuality and you will become crooked. You see, everyone has his or her own taste or preferences. Some love you as you are while some will try to change you to become a perfect version of who they think you should be. So, when you let the approval of people to control you, you will bend in both diretions trying to please everybody. Yet, you cannot please everybody. That is one of the impossibilities of the world. Take this bitter pill. God and  Jesus do not please everybody. So, who do you think you are to please everybody?  It is time to get healed from seeking the approval of others. Be you.

This does not mean that you can act brazenly and do whatever you want without thinking. No. Not being married to other people’s approval means that you are not controlled by other people’s like and dislikes. In the process, be a nice person. The world has laws that govern the society and its members for their own protection. It is important that you live within them. Even when you do so, their is someone somewhere who will disapprove, but you will be ensuring your own safety and safeguarding your freedom.

It is not that you do not need anyone’s approval. You need approval from significant others such your parents, guardian, teachers, boss and other authority figures in your life. Nevertheless, there are still personal boundaries that you should not let them cross.

You cannot be a solo creature and survive in this world. You need other people no matter how much of an introvert you are. Consider this, you need to be clean and to smell nice or emit no smell at all so that people can enjoy being around you. The opposite will make people consider you a disgrace.

The point is not to let the major goal of your life be to seek other people’s approval all the time such that when they do not notice or approve, you lose your joy. Do  not seek to impress seek to be of significance. The best way of getting yourself out of the bondage of seeking approval is building your self-esteem and confidence. Approve yourself with all your imperfections because no one is perfect even the ones who look like they are. Stop telling your mind to compare yourself with other people. You cannot be them. No one can be you so, be you and accept you. In doing so you will not need to seek other people’s attention to be happy because you will know that you value yourself and the people who are close to you value you as well.

Divorce the idea in your mind that tells you that others must approve of you for you to be worthy. Utimately, live your life. Live a life of prioritizing the state of your mind. Be peaceful with everyone but do not try to please everyone.Love yourself the way you want to be loved.

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